#YesAllWomen

*Just to prepare you, this is going to be a bit of a ranting blog post. I'm going to try to restrain myself, but this is something I feel really strongly about.*

This post is in response to the YesAllWomen hashtag that started on Twitter after 22 year old Elliot Rodger opened fire in Santa Barbara, California, leaving 6 innocent people dead, before turning the gun on himself. While I did put out a few tweets concerning this, there is no way I could have stated everything that this means to me in 140 (or less) characters. I've peppered this post with some of the wonderful tweets that are found under this hashtag on twitter. 

You should read this post if you're a girl, because you may have had a negative experience as a result of your gender in the past. If you're reading this thinking "no, this has never happened to me", two things. One: I'm really happy for you that it hasn't, but, unless there is a dramatic change in society, and this change happens soon, it probably will. Two: something that may have happened to you might not have been appropriate, however you have been conditioned by society into thinking that you gave that boy the right to touch your butt because you were wearing a short dress. You didn't.

You should read this post if you're a boy, because all women are someone's sister, mother, daughter, friend, neighbour, cousin, etc. However, more than that - all women are someone, and the role we play in a male's life should not be what defines us. You should read this post if you're a boy, because if you're one of the men proclaiming that "not all men act like this!", you're turning this into something about guys, and therefore, you're only proving our point. Not all men do act like this, and there are obviously some fantastic guys out there who are so for this cause, however it is something that the majority of women have had to put up with at some point in time, and if you're a good guy, you want to support women and stop this. 

YesAllWomen: Because I've been told by men how strongly I feel about this cause is a turn off. I do not exist to turn you on.
Yes AllWomen: Because "feminist" shouldn't be an insult

#YesAllWomen: Because this guy thinks it's okay to hijack a hashtag directed at people like him

The reasons for the aforementioned shooting rampage that has destroyed many lives were revealed in a YouTube video and a 140 page manifesto from the shooter. Honestly, I was shocked and appalled. 

"You girls have never been attracted to me. I don't know why you girls aren't attracted to me, but I will punish you all for it." He referred to women as objects - "I want one" - and couldn't understand why women didn't want to be with him, because he was such a gentleman.

Just because he considered himself a nice guy, a gentleman, Elliot Rodger believed that he was entitled to women of his choosing. Aside from giving us a pretty good example of why girls weren't attracted to him in the first place, Rodger showed that he wasn't really a gentleman: a real gentleman would have respected the choices of the girls he pursued. Women are not a prize you get just because you're a decent human. Women should not be punished because they are not attracted to you - that's your problem, not ours. 

YesAllWomen: Because schools have dress codes, dictating how girls can dress, instead of teaching guys that what girls wear shouldn't affect them (If I was a guy, I would be offended that people think I can't control myself due to seeing a glimpse of a girl's shoulder)
YesAllWomen: Because "go make me a sandwich" is considered a funny joke. Really, how witty.

Obviously, a lot more was going on here than this guy simply thinking he was entitled to girls because he was a decent human. He had mental health problems and I'm not downplaying the importance of these in anyway. However, the problem that I have with this is that it's not just a one off for a guy to think like this, and how people are coming out saying "if only a girl had given him a chance…"(not our job). This shooting, and the reasons behind it, have opened up this argument, and this time, us girls aren't backing down until we get some equality.

I think the majority of girls can say we have been in a situation when we have felt threatened because of our sexuality or our gender. What's my experience? The one that I want to share is a guy walking past me at leavers (our end of Year 12 celebrations), and deciding that he had full rights to grab my butt. No. He didn't. I'm proud to say that I was not passive in this situation (not that there is anything wrong with not saying or doing anything if you feel threatened), and I turned around and told him off. I asked him if he would feel okay if someone was doing that to his sister or one of his girl friends. His response was to grin, and do it to another one of my friends as we walked past. 

YesAllWomen: Because "I have a boyfriend" means more than "no" - another man's 'ownership' has more meaning than my consent 
YesAllWomen: Because we coach girls how not to get raped, instead of telling males that consent is mandatory.

After Jill Meagher was raped and killed by someone who was a stranger to her after a night out with colleagues, the Internet went into a frenzy. People were shocked at what had occurred and rightfully furious at the perpetrator. However, worryingly, people were also concerned with what she was wearing. Why was she walking by herself? Ah, yes, she must have been drinking for that to happen.

WHY ARE THESE THINGS ISSUES? This infuriates me. Why can't I walk down the street in a short dress and heels? Why does someone being drunk make it more acceptable for them to be sexually assaulted? I'm not saying here that we should all have a drink, walk down the street dressed in whatever we want, alone, at night time. Why not? Because it's not safe. And I hate that it isn't.

When Daisy Coleman (then 14) was raped, the media pitied the bright young boys (her rapists) who had their futures ruined because of the media attention directed to the issue. The ordeal obviously traumatised Daisy, who has been admitted to hospital four times - twice for self mutilation, and twice for suicide attempts. The boys admitted that they raped her - there was also video evidence - however, no charges have been laid. One of the sherifs involved in the case, Sheriff Daren White, stated that "I believe the girls freely admitted they were drinking at home and they snuck out". Why does that make what occurred any more acceptable? 

YesAllWomen: Because 97% of rapists will never spend a day in jail. 
YesAllWomen: Because I shouldn't be told I'm being sensitive when rape jokes make me uncomfortable. 
YesAllWomen: Because I'm so sick of having to learn rules for my safety, when boys should be learning rules for their behaviour. 

Speak out: do it for yourself, do it for your friends, strangers, your mother, your sister, your family, that girl sitting across from you in your class. All women will probably have to put up with sexism, discrimination, unwanted (and declined) advances, fear when walking alone, and other awful things that only happen to us because we're girls. No woman should have to put up with this.

However, yes, all women can see something beautiful that is evolving on Twitter, on Tumblr, in conversations with girls and guys and in text messages sent to friends. Yes, all women have the power to bring about the change that is needed so a hashtag like this is not necessary. I don't want to have to tell my daughters one day that they need to be so careful of their drinks when they go out, that they shouldn't wear that because it will give boys the wrong idea, and that the reason a boy is being mean to her is because "he likes you". But with so much support behind this one hashtag, and this idea building and spreading, I don't believe I will have to.