2014: The year that was. 2015: The year that will be...?

One of my New Years resolutions this year was to write at least 12 blog posts. I had previously tried to blog before but I had never stuck with it, and this year was the year I decided to really get into it. I started off writing about beauty and lifestyle, but I didn't upload all that often. That changed in May, when I stumbled across the #YesAllWomen movement on Twitter. This was when I realised that I had been writing about what I thought people wanted to read instead of what I cared about, and this is when Laurables took a turn from being my lifestyle/ makeup/ fashion rambles (I occasionally blog about all that jazz at Laura Robin) to being centred on social justice and issues that I believe are important.

I think one of the best things about writing my blog has been it behind me meeting new people and the beginning of new conversations. A few weeks ago I was out with friends at a bar and a girl who I had met a few times before came up and told me that she loved my blog. That's happened a few times and it makes me so incredibly happy because it's creating discussion about issues that (I believe) are important, and that's one of the bits about this blog that I love. It's very touching to hear that someone has enjoyed and believes in something that you have written, so thank you!

2014 was an interesting one - I had a surgery and a few procedures on my back, and while the last half of the year was fairly interesting in regard to my health I'm looking forward to starting 2015 all healthy. I'm halfway through my university degree, and I swapped majors halfway through the year as what I want to do with my life has became a little bit clearer (not lots clearer - I still have about 7 career options!). I also travelled without parents/ teachers for the first time this year to Cambodia and Singapore with a good friend from school. I had an amazing time and I'm planning to do something like that again. I also went to Melbourne to see family, down to Albany for a university trip, and to my friend's farm.

So, what will 2015 bring? I plan to keep writing of course, continuing to focus on issues that are important to me. If you have any suggestions I'd love to hear them - message me on Facebook, message the Laurables page, or comment on this blog/ a Facebook post. In my actual life, I'll be living away from home for the first time while I study abroad in England (!!!) which has been a dream of mine since I was about 8. I will be keeping a separate blog of my adventures and if you're interested it can be found here - at the moment it has a lot of bad quality iPhone photos of the trip that I am currently enjoying with my immediate family in Europe but there will be more writing once the semester starts.

I feel like I should write a few New Years resolutions because that's really where this blog began. So I'd love to keep writing, become more organised, keep fit (these are getting more and more unlikely) and see as much of the world as I can. One quotation that I read in 2014 that I'd like to keep in mind for the new year - "do what you can, with what you have, where you are".

I'll be celebrating the New Year with my family here in York, England. It will be a warm 7 degrees tonight (as opposed to -2 like it is right now) but we'll probably be asleep when the clock strikes 12. I think I'll be going out to dinner with them, counting the New Year in for Perth (4pm local time), and then head to bed early. Exciting stuff!

Thank you to anyone and everyone who has read, liked, shared or suggested a post this year - I feel like I have finally found a passion and thank you all for supporting it. I hope that you had a wonderful year, and that 2015 is even better for you.

Goodbye 2014 - it has been a great one.

Here's to 2015!

What Christmas Means To Me

Christmas has always been my favourite day of the year - my close friends know that I start getting excited in August, thinking about what presents to buy in October, and put up the decorations in my bedroom in November.

When I was younger I would get beyond giddy about Santa arriving - a favourite holiday story of my family is of the year dad got me so wound up about Santa's path through the sky that mum had to give me Panadol so I'd sleep. Christmas would be at home or in Melbourne - at home, we'd spend the day with my Nanna and uncle with family friends who also didn't have much family in Perth, and over in Melbourne we'd celebrate with my Grandma and all the uncles, aunties and cousins on mum's side of the family.

This year's a bit different because I'm in Germany with my family! While we're usually enjoying the heat (well, sort of) with a huge feast, probably a swim, and definitely some backyard cricket, this year we'll be heading to a restaurant for the first time ever and having a bit of a quiet day. We're expecting a high of 5 degrees Celsius and while we're not holding our breaths for a white Christmas, we should be getting snow on Boxing Day. Instead of piling food on serving trays out of the ovens, we'll be piling on the coats and walking to a restaurant (and I am more than okay with this).

I was absolutely flat out in the run up to Christmas because we left on the 19th of December and I won't be returning home with my family - I'll be in Europe until July on a student exchange program. I didn't put any Christmas decorations up, I barely bought Christmas presents (I know, naughty me) and I didn't make my traditional Christmas cookies. It honestly didn't even feel like Christmas was coming up because I had a to do list a mile long between then and now. Now that it's the night before though, I'm getting so excited - being nearly 20 (oh dear) has not dulled my enthusiasm in the slightest.

So, what does Christmas mean to me?

Christmas means amazing food - I have fond memories from Christmas last year in Melbourne when various family members were lying borderline comatose around the living room after one too many helpings of Christmas dinner. I love the days after Christmas when leftovers are readily available, and the feeling of being uncomfortably full (although last year when I woke up on Boxing Day feeling that way, and continued to overindulge at my Grandma's birthday celebrations, I wasn't quite as pleased with myself).

I love spending time with my family, and that's my favourite part of Christmas. While in the past, I used to get giddy at the prospect of presents, I now relish spending the day with relatives in the eastern states who I only get to see once a year, and having my entire immediate family together. We're all so busy, and Christmas is the one day of the year that the world seems to mostly stop and we all get to spend time together.

This year I'm trying to keep in mind that there are some people who will be spending Christmas without their families, maybe for the first time. With a few tragedies in Australia over the last few weeks, this has been at the forefront of everyone's minds more than ever. So while you're doing your thing at Christmas, spare a thought for those who are missing someone special this year or feeling lonely. Holidays seem to be the time of the year when our losses feel magnified, so I hope that everyone who is without a loved one still has a wonderful day with others who are close to their hearts.

I'm writing this on Christmas Eve, sitting on a couch in Munich. My sister is lounging around and my brother is constructing his Christmas stocking as instructed by mum and dad (my turn next - hopefully it at least somewhat resembles a stocking). My dad is watching some skiing on the TV and my mum is wrapping presents in the room next door. 

I just returned from making my Christmas stocking (mine's the best [I decided]) and an impromptu singalong with Mariah Carey to "All I Want For Christmas". We set up a little Christmas tree on the table and now we're setting up to watch Elf.

And while it's different to what my Christmases usually are, it means just as much to me.

I hope you have a wonderful day wherever you are, filled with at least some fun, festivities and laughter.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a goodnight!

Be a man about it

A good friend of mine contacted me about writing this article, and I am honoured to be able to. Someone who she knew was murdered in Melbourne a few weeks ago. Someone she was at college with went out one Friday night. He was 21 years old, a third year student at the University of Melbourne. He did what a lot of young people do - celebrated the end of the week out with some mates.

The only difference is that Josh Hardy didn't come home.

Shortly after 1am on that Saturday morning, Josh was attacked outside a McDonald's restaurant. This attack rendered him unconscious, before he passed away in the early hours of Saturday. While these devastating deaths often occur after a "coward's punch" (formally known as a king hit), Josh was brutally stomped on. 

Josh had a mother, a father, a sister. He had a future, he had goals. And now that has all been taken away from him. It is so unfair that someone who meant so much to so many people could be taken away so quickly in an act of violence initiated by someone he didn't even know.

While there has been legislation put in place with mandatory sentencing laws, I don't think this is where the change needs to start. When these men are pulling their fist back, they aren't thinking about the 10 years that they are getting for a coward's punch. They're not thinking about the lives that they are ruining - including their own. They're thinking that this is the fastest, easiest and best way of solving the problem - and this is what needs to change.

In Australia, we have such a culture of being a "bloke"; being a man, being strong, being masculine. It's cool to be rough, it's cool to be tough, it's cool to stand up for yourself and it's cool to get into a fight.  But anyone who is reading this, I implore you to understand just this: you are no less strong or masculine if you walk away from a fight. You are no less of a man if you choose not to engage in this sort of behaviour. There is nothing wrong with walking away from a fight.

While women are also involved in random incidents of violence such as this (glassing incidents come to mind), I think it would be ignorant of me to say that this is a problem that both genders are faced by equally. Although I do write a lot about how gender inequality has negatively impacted my life, and the lives of females throughout the world, I also want to write about how gender inequality negatively impacts males.  Men are taught to be strong and powerful; they are taught that they need to protect their pride; and they are taught that a lot of this power comes from their physical strength. Maybe all of these things are true and important, maybe they're not. What is true, though, is that this can't be all men value themselves for. We need our young men to understand that they are valued for their thoughts, their feelings, and just being them. We don't value them for their physicality, and we definitely don't want the things we love about a person being taken away in a split second because of theirs, or someone else's, split second decision. 

The man who was responsible for this attack handed himself into police the morning after the incident after he heard reports about what had happened. This is not a man who is trying to run away from the law. This is a man who was also having a night out on the town - something that ended with devastating consequences. There is no doubt in my mind that this man is the party who is at fault for this - this is the man who made the decision that killed someone. However it was a split second decision, and this is why our culture needs to change. 

I'm writing this, not only to the men who may be victims, but to those who may be perpetrators as well. These men were innocent until the cowardly punched someone else - an act of drunken violence that, while it doesn't excuse their actions at all, was a split second decision that has now changed their lives forever. These men are also someone's brother, son, boyfriend, friend. I completely support mandatory sentencing for coward's punch attacks, however I think the actual culture of nightlife and of young men in Australia needs to be changed.

I don't want there to be a reason to put these young men away. I don't want there to be a reason that we are honouring another young man who was just trying to have a good night out with his friends. 

 Let it go. If someone knocks into you, spills your drink, whatever, just walk away. I promise you that it's not worth getting involved - it was probably an accident, and if it wasn't, you don't want to get involved with them anyway. If you are the one who bumps into someone or knocks their drink accidentally, apologise if you feel the situation warrants it. Sure, it was a complete accident, but sometimes being safe is more important than being right. 

You tell me what is more cowardly: walking away from an altercation, or throwing a punch at someone who had their back turned?

So, while the man who was responsible for this is in my thoughts because of a split second decision that he made while he was probably drunk, the fact remains that he did the wrong thing. He took away the life of a young man who was successful, a good friend, a devoted family member and part of his community. He made a split second decision that has ricocheted out of control, hitting more people than they probably ever knew was possible. He made a choice.

Josh didn't.

Next time you go out, I want you to make a choice. Make a choice to be a man (or woman) about it, and say no to these acts of violence that are destroying people's lives. 

Check Your Neck

My neck and collarbones have always been up there with my favourite body parts - when you have size 11 feet and a huge nose, you tend to appreciate the more delicate of your qualities.

Unusual, then, that I didn't notice the massive lump on the right side of my neck.

About three months ago, I went to see a doctor in relation to a completely separate issue, and before I even sat down to talk to the specialist, he said "wow, that's a big thyroid problem you have". I'd never noticed the large lump on the right side of my neck - I'm still not sure how long it was there for - but there it was.

Your thyroid looks like a butterfly and is found on your neck. It's one of the largest endocrine glands in your body (thank you Wikipedia) and consists of two interconnected lobes. The function of the thyroid (in non medical terms) is to release the hormones that regulate how a lot of how your body works. It's pretty small, but it's also pretty busy.

I had some tests, and after seeing both a thyroid surgeon and an endocrinologist, it was decided that while there was a large lump on the right half of my thyroid (taking up 90% of that half, in fact), there was nothing sinister about it and that it would be fine to leave everything be. If the cyst did need to come out though, I was told, my entire right thyroid would have to be removed as the cyst was too far engrained in my thyroid to be removed by itself. My hormone levels were perfect, and a follow up appointment was booked for three months down the track, just to see if anything changed. Due to the cyst being multi chambered, we couldn't perform a needle biopsy to check for the presence of cancer, however the doctors were confident that the risk was incredibly low.

One of my friends named the cyst "Clyde", and so that's what we all called him. People enquired about how he was going, and it sounds quite gruesome and disgusting, but it was all very funny.

Until, all of a sudden, it wasn't.

The lump had been quite sore for awhile, my voice had got a little lower, and I could definitely feel that the lump was pressing on my windpipe, which it hadn't been before. As it was only a few weeks until the appointment with the surgeon, we decided to wait until then. My appointment was on Monday the 13th of October, the Wednesday before I had to have an ultrasound, and on Friday morning we received a call from the surgeon telling us that the lump had grown quite a bit and it was going to need to come out.

When I was first told about the potential for a surgery, back in July, the scar was mentioned. I wasn't worried at all, and joked about how I'd have a battle scar and I didn't care at all. I wish I could say I reacted this way when I was told my right thyroid definitely had to be removed. I wish I could say that I brushed off the idea of a scar and that I was completely fine with the idea, however in all honesty, I really wasn't. It's funny, because I never considered myself that vain before, but I was devastated with the knowledge that I was going to permanently have a huge line across my neck and that there was nothing I could do about it.

I saw the surgeon in our scheduled appointment time that morning, and that afternoon, at 4pm, I had surgery to have my right thyroid gland removed, called a hemi thyroidectomy. When I woke up I spent some time in recovery ("You have a fever, they cook the patients in those operating theatres I swear"), and then was moved up to a nice ward. The first thing I did (after requesting and receiving dinner) was to put on the news - I knew that I would be upset about the scar, and so I wanted to get some perspective on life.

So, what happened after the surgery?

The general anaesthetic really rattled me, and Friday was the first day I made it without a nap - it might have helped that I slept until 11. I wasn't in much pain until Friday, and since then I have been quite uncomfortable. The location of the surgery means that moving my neck is, quite literally, a pain in the neck (ahh good one Laura), it's quite painful to swallow which makes eating difficult, and it also means my voice is nice and croaky (and squeaky sometimes).

Why am I writing this blog post?

Firstly, hey, I now have a massive scar on my neck, and this is why!

Secondly is for awareness. It concerns me a little to think about how long this cyst would have been there before I noticed it - we still don't know how long it was there for before the other specialist saw it. I was so lucky that the lump was found when it was - if we'd only noticed the lump when it started hurting, in September, we wouldn't have known that it had grown and so it would have had to be removed (if it grew more, which my surgeon has since told me it would have) in December. This would have put my plans for next year - six months in England on exchange - in jeopardy.

And finally, I wrote this post just to put down my thoughts.

This was something that rocked me a bit, although I never got super upset over it. However, yeah, it was quite scary. A lot of people commented that they were much more worried than I was, and I think it was like that for a few reasons. Firstly, there wasn't much I could do about it so there wasn't too much point in getting flustered. Secondly, I was going to be asleep for it so it wasn't really my problem. And thirdly, I thought it was quite a small surgery - I didn't realise the extent of it until after.

I wrote some of this post right after my ultrasound, and the majority on Sunday the 19th of October, however I'm adding a small bit now (Monday the 20th of October). I'm out of the house today, still struggling to move my neck a lot (me walking through uni is a fairly unique vision), however feeling much better. I saw my surgeon this morning, and am so thankful to be able to say that, following pathology tests, the cyst and my thyroid are cancer free. We don't know why Clyde grew, but he did. In a few weeks I'll have some blood tests to check my thyroxine levels, and after that, well, we'll see.

I also saw my actual scar for the first time this morning, after the final dressings were removed, and no, I'm not going to lie, it really isn't the prettiest thing out. It's a lot smaller than I was expecting, it's not as dark in colour, but I still have a scar stretching across my neck that wasn't there before. You can see it in t shirts, and I'm sure some people saw it at uni today and thought it was a bit unusual. But, strangely, I'm at peace with my new "battle scar".

My neck and collarbones have always been up there with my favourite body parts - when you have size 11 feet and a huge nose, you tend to appreciate the more delicate of your qualities. Unusual, then, that I have a fairly ugly scar right across the front of my neck.

More unusual, I guess, is that (surprisingly), I don't mind.

P.S. I also wanted to say thank you for the support I have received from my beautiful family and friends - I have been showered with love, chocolate, ice cream and presents, none of which I deserved, but everything that made the last week a little easier. I had some lovely visitors, as well as countless texts and messages of support from my good friends and family members. Thank you all so much - I was definitely cheered up a lot.

Thank You, Emma Watson

I've been writing a few blog posts lately, and after Emma Watson's beautiful speech, I had to take my rant about how some people are changing the term "Feminism" and fashion it into, what I can only hope, will be a response to her speech that hopefully does it at least some justice.

Dear Emma Watson,

Thank you for speaking to the UN about the importance of women's rights. Thank you for understanding that gender inequality is not just an issue faced by women, and that it is a problem that negatively impacts both genders: men, because they are expected to be strong and stoic by withholding their emotions; and women, because we do not receive equality in society's expectations or treatment. Thank you for presenting so beautifully on such an important topic. Emma Watson, thank you so much for understanding that being a feminist does not mean forgoing everything feminine.

And above all, thank you for putting the importance of feminism back on the agenda, and presenting it in a beautifully unaggressive manner.

Many women do not identify themselves as feminists due to the negative connotations that now surround the word. Feminism is not about men and women competing. It is not about women wanting to be better than men. Feminism is about bringing women up to be equal with men: politically, socially, and economically. 

If you are a man, who thinks that women should get equal pay, you are a feminist. If you believe that gender shouldn't matter when it comes to getting jobs, you are also a feminist. If you think that women should be lorded above men, and should receive higher pay rates because we're the better gender, you are not a feminist. You are a neo-Feminist.

I think it's important to make this distinction because a lot of people declare that they aren't feminists or find feminism aggressive; they think feminism is synonymous with female superiority and exactly the same as man-hating.

Some women label themselves as "Feminists" when they are definitely neo-Feminists: in favour of women being superior to men. This, in turn, ensures that the term "Feminism" is thought to be standing for an aggressive movement, when it is, in fact, the opposite. The use of this term in this way makes people pidgenhole the majority of feminists as man-hating extremists, and therefore discourages other women to speak out for their rights or identity as a feminist, for fear of judgement. 

It has been suggested that the term "Feminism" is too aggressive, and therefore, that it should be changed into something more fitting with what Feminism actually is: wanting equality between men and women, politically, socially and economically. I don't see why the term should be changed just because a few extremists got their hands on a word that means so much to so many people (not just women) all over the world. A lot of the men who have a problem with the over aggression of some feminists have the same problem with them that us feminists have in the first place - inequality due to gender.

While the HeForShe campaign is primarily aimed at benefiting women - because, realistically, inequality affects women, at least in a statistical sense, far more than men - Emma acknowledged that by removing gender stereotypes, men can be free to be sensitive, while women can be free to be strong, and this is why Emma's speech is so important. Suicide is the leading causing of men in the UK between the ages of 20 and 49, and so we need to start thinking about societal expectations negatively affecting men too. 

I think it is so important that men are part of this move for gender inequality, not just because of the benefits it has for them, but also because we can't expect change if we are attempting to mobilise only half of those who may be able to help us. We need everyone to fight for gender inequality, not just one half of the world. 

However, I think it is important to acknowledge as well that some people: male, female, whatever, will be against Feminism, not due to a lack of understanding about the term, but a lack of appreciation or wanting for change to come around. 

If wanting equal pay for equal work isolates some people from me, so be it. If wanting to be able to walk home safely is seen as aggressive, so be it. If wanting to be treated as more than the "F" gender box that I tick is seen as unattractive, then so be it, because I do not exist to be attractive: I exist to be the best possible me, regardless of my sex. 

Emma, thank you so much for reclaiming the term "Feminism", and ensuring that people understand that it is about equality, and how this equality will be beneficial for both men and women. 

Be the voice that you want to hear, be the change that you want to see in the world, and, above all, be the person who you want to be, regardless of your gender.

Lots of love, Laura

P.S. You'll always be more than "that Harry Potter girl" to me.

Victim blaming isn't new, but it's getting old

The recent photograph "scandal" affecting over one hundred celebrity women has shocked and horrified me, however, what (sadly) haven't surprised me have been the reactions that are blaming the women who have had their private photographs shared with the world. Victim shaming and blaming isn't new, but it's getting old and it's getting old fast.

"She shouldn't have taken the photographs" sounds awfully similar to "she shouldn't have been wearing a short skirt", don't you think? Different scenarios, but ultimately blaming victims for an act that only the hackers/ assaulters should be receiving punishment and judgement for. A lack of empathy for the women in this situation is disgusting and really quite heartbreaking - I can imagine they would be feeling unsafe, scared, and possibly embarrassed that something that was meant to be so private can now be accessed all over the world.

People are speaking out about how these women made a mistake. No, I don't think they did. They're saying how they should have known better. NO! That's just like saying someone should know better than to get drunk and walk home alone. That someone should know better than to wear a short skirt. That someone should know better than to take a taxi home by themselves.

Do you know what some people need to know better?

Some people should know better than to prey against a women who has had too much to drink and is just trying to get home safely. Some people should know better than to assault a woman, just because of what she is wearing. Some people should know better than to hack into systems to share photographs that were obviously taken for personal reasons and put somewhere seemingly private.

This person did not just stumble across these photographs - this person went looking for them, hacked into systems, and broke the law. The fact is, this is crime against women. If it was a crime against celebrities, there would be photographs of males amongst the hundreds of women - I'm sure there are at least a few of them floating around on various unprotected iClouds. It was women who were affected, women who are receiving the blame for taking the photographs in the first place, and women who are sick of being blamed and shamed for something that just isn't our fault.

But regardless of the gender who was affected by this crime, celebrities should not have to deal with a complete invasion of their privacy just because their work is seen by millions. By signing a movie deal or a record contract, they are signing to record a movie or an album. They are not signing away their private lives. No one has the right to see anyone else's body without that person's consent. That may be in the case of sexual assault, that may be in the case of photographs, whether they be of a celebrity or someone else. If Jennifer Lawrence (or any of the other celebrities) did not send those photographs to you, what the hell are you doing looking at them? They're none of your business, you're creepy, just stop. If a celebrity appears in a movie or in a photo shoot in various states of undress, that's a completely different situation than what has happened here. A movie intended for mass production and consumption is different to private photographs - the fact that someone had to hack into systems to see them suggests that they were not meant to be viewed by others. Consent is the difference here.

You know what? We learn when we're younger that any photograph we take may end up being seen across the world - I am sure that that risk increases a thousand fold if you live in the public eye. However, that doesn't mean that it's something you should expect, or that it makes it any more okay or understandable for someone to hack into someone's iCloud and share their private photographs. It's just like how, as a young female, I have been taught not to walk home by myself late at night, to reduce my risk of something happening to me. If, however, I did decided to walk home alone, and something did happen, that wouldn't put me in a position of blame (or, at least, it shouldn't - there are plenty of people around the world who would believe it was my error that caused whatever happened to me to occur).

It doesn't make it any more acceptable for what happened to occur. Like many other things, it's a safeguard that we have been taught to protect ourselves and our loved ones against some of the creepers that share our world.

We live in a sad world where things like hacking photographs of celebrity women happens, however it’s sadder still when these women cop the blame for someone else’s reprehensible actions. There are actions that we can take to safe guard ourselves something like this occurring, however not taking these actions does not make it okay for someone to be a victim. It doesn't mean they deserve what happened to them. 

Stop victim blaming, and start perpetrator blaming.

Do we care?

I've read so many articles and comments lately following the dual tragedies of MH17 and Gaza, berating people for only caring about "privileged white people" and ignoring the plight of fellow humans. So many articles in relation to the MH17 tragedy seem to go on about other accidents and deaths that have occurred around the same time, citing the lack of media coverage and using this as proof that the majority of people just don't care.

I actually have another reason for this.

The thing is, every human life lost is a tragedy. Whether that life is lost in a war, in a crash, as a result of a sickness, a suicide, or from old age, is irrelevant. Everyone who dies has a mother and a father; everyone (I hope) has someone who values them, who would mourn them. I don't think a lack of coverage about deaths in different circumstances (e.g. road crashes) means that we think that they don't "matter", nor does the lack of coverage or compassion about deaths in Gaza or the persecution of Christians by ISIS.

What is happening in Gaza at the moment is devastating. People dying as a result of famine in Africa is devastating. However, I think the reason that plane crashes and disappearances receive so much coverage (especially as of late) is because it seems more likely that we will be affected by a crash such as this, instead of in a famine in a place we have never visited.

People are (understandably) more concerned with events that affect them, whether directly or indirectly. We're selfish, therefore we're interested in these things because they impact on our lives. However, more than this, we find startling parallels between the lives of those affected, whether they were in the plane or had relatives in the planes, and us. Events that affect people from our community concern us more, because we are close to them - we might live in the same suburb, shop at the same Coles, share a similar life with them.

That's why I think that the story of MH17 has touched and devastated so many people who are impacted by the crash. Aside from the heart wrenching stories of loss and grief, we can't help but think "that could have been me".

We're going to be more affected by the death of someone following a car crash if it occurred on a road we frequently drive on, rather than if it happened on the opposite side of the world. We will be more interested in the journey of our country to a sporting game, because, to some extent, it concerns us. It doesn't mean that we don't think the other countries matter, it doesn't mean that we think other deaths don't matter - they just don't have the same relevance to us.

Turning a the comments section of a well meaning article into "well more people died here, why aren't we talking about them? RIP to EVERYONE who has died NOT JUST THOSE WHO DIED ON MH17" does not help the situation at all. Putting numbers on these stories, at least for me, has the completely opposite effect to what is desired. Comparing the number of people dying in Gaza to the number of people killed in MH17 doesn't make those in Gaza seem more important - it looks as though the writer, or speaker, thinks tragedy is measured by numbers, and I don't think that that is true at all.

Tragedy is measured in lost opportunities, in separated families, and this can occur anywhere in the world.

I'm not denying that people are more drawn to events that are seen as "exciting" and "unusual" - for example, being drawn to a plane crash instead of a car crash. We're also more drawn to events that may seem common, but that affect places or people that they do not normally affect, for example, the Ebola outbreak affecting American citizens.

I'm not saying that I think other devastating events shouldn't receive more press coverage - I think they should. I don't think it's fair that so much more attention is devoted to issues that affect us, however I understand why that is the case. For the majority of people, they're interested in news that can affect them. For me, as an International Relations student, I'm interested in news from around the world, regardless of whether I share any aspects of my life with it. And so, instead of looking at news.com or ninemsn for my news updates, I search further afield. The news you want is out there, it's just not on the websites dedicated to the average Joe who is only looking for news that is relevant to his life.

Instead of downplaying the people killed in tragedies that gain more attention, write about events that you wish had more media coverage. Suggest to media outlets that they focus on these other events, because people like you (their clients) do care, and are interested in them as well. Research those other events, bring them up in conversations.

In sad times like these, it's important to remember that while each death should be grieved, turning tragedy and grief into a game of numbers trivialises the issues and takes away from what is really important - remembering those we have lost, and helping the families who have lost loved ones. As Rin Norris and Anthony Maslin so eloquently said, "pain is not a story".

So let's not turn grief into a competition.

Rape: Use your words (but not that one)

Nothing makes me feel more sick than seeing the word "rape" used casually, including rape jokes, and using rape as verb to describe something that definitely is not rape.  "We got raped at that football game." "That girl is rapeable". "My maths exam raped me". Absolutely disgusting. Rape is not a word that should be used in an everyday context. Unless you're talking about something that legitimately was rape (in which case, no one would be laughing), you're not using the right word.

I find the use of the word "rape" in any conversation where you're not actually speaking about rape absolutely deplorable, however especially in the context of someone finding someone "rapeable". What, you think they're hot, so that makes it excusable for you to forcefully have sex with them? Wow. You're so cool. What a drop kick.

Using this word in such an every day context trivialises the idea of rape. Don't tell me you're having a laugh. Don't tell me I'm being sensitive. Don't tell me to get a sense of humour. People who are making rape jokes have never been raped, they don't worry about being raped, they probably don't know an who has been raped, and they're actually legitimising the actions of rapists or potential rapists by making their actions seem more socially acceptable, as well as reminding victims of sexual assault and rape of what may have occurred.

While rape does not only affect women, it is something that primarily affects women, and we don't find the use of the term funny at all. Rape jokes? Not even slightly humorous. I'd rather a good old "knock knock" joke. I don't find rape jokes funny because the threat of sexual assault or rape is something that legitimately frightens me; something that sees me not going for walks by myself when it's dark, makes me careful about taking public transport by myself, causes me to not even consider taking a taxi alone, and causes me to freeze if I hear a noise when I'm home by myself at night. And while being alone may freak me out a little bit, I know that I'm not alone when it comes to hatred of rape jokes and of the term "rape" being used so casually.

I read on Tumblr (hem, again) a story about a classroom in America, when a student was talking about someone else's sexual assault, and another student said something along the lines of "she should have been in the kitchen, then it wouldn't have happened!" We do not need to culture this ignorance, this stupidity, this victim shaming. "Just a joke!"? It's not funny, and it can't go on.

An example of the idea of "rape" being thrown around? Robin Thicke. Don't even get me started (well, I've started). As catchy as the song "Blurred Lines" is, it's pretty disgusting when you listen to the lyrics. "I know you want it". No, you think she wants it. But hey, because she said no, what you think she does or doesn't want is out of the equation. Back off. The song actually got banned from some student pubs in England - this move was accused of being too politically correct. I personally don't see what is wrong with banning something that is essentially rape propaganda.

Get a little bit more creative with your language. "Wow, that team was much better than us at football. We got a bit destroyed". "Wow, that girl is very pretty". "I just got owned by my maths exam". "Goodness gracious golly gosh I wrote like a bumbling baboon in my English exam".

Nothing I love more than calling people out for being racist/ sexist and seeing them squirm awkwardly (I sound awful. Ah well, better they learn now). I mean, chances are, if someone says "I got raped by my maths exam" and you ask them to explain, they'll be sitting there opening and closing their mouth like a goldfish, realising that no, they weren't raped by their maths exam. They struggled a bit to answer everything, they wish that they had studied harder, and the exam was more difficult than they expected. They were not raped in anyway way, shape, or form, by that maths exam.

"You know that that's not what I meant". Yeah, I do. I don't know why you used that word though. There's nothing wrong with a bit of exaggeration, however using the word "rape" isn't exaggeration - it's just stupid. There's a difference between something taking away your choices, something removing all control from you, something done to create fear and something as life changing as rape, and exaggerating about something a little.

I'm sick of terms like "rape" being thrown around in every day language. It's not okay. Rape and sexual assault in general are not funny - the sheer thought of them is terrifying, they're life altering, soul crushing, and not even remotely humorous.

Next time you try to be a bit cute and use "rape" as a term to describe something you find difficult, take it back. It's not rape. You know that. Next time you describe someone as "rapeable", take a step back and really think about what you're saying. You're surely not thinking that the way they look excuses something as awful as rape, are you? No? I didn't think so. So why do you feel the need to say that? And if you think it does excuse it? You really need to take a look at yourself, and quite possibly talk to someone.

To give us all a bit of credit - the vast majority of people understand that rape and sexual assault is so, incredibly wrong. That's why we all need to stop casually using the word "rape" in every day language - it's not what we mean. And as for Robin Thicke? People are slowly starting to wake up to the fact that his lyrics and attitudes are not even remotely okay - #AskThicke on Twitter was a PR nightmare - here are some gems below.

Rape is NEVER funny. Use your words, get more original with your vocabulary, and stop using the word "rape" where it doesn't belong. We're all smarter than that. It's not cute, it's not funny, no one has any idea what you're talking about, and yes, when you talk about being "raped" by an exam, you do sound like a bumbling baboon.

Part of the #YesAllWomen movement.

University Wars: Artscism

I'm not a huge fan of the Articism (new term - I made it up) that I have faced ever since I started university. I am an Arts student, and I'm proud of that. I don't mind it when people poke fun at me a little bit, and when teasing is done in jest - I can take that as well as the next person, and I don't mind having a bit of a joke about my lack of contact hours. A little bit of teasing about what I'll do after my degree is fine, I can take a joke, and yeah, Arts degrees aren't exactly renowned for producing high earning graduates.

However, what really annoys me is when people say "what can you even do with an Arts degree?" and, the ever famous (and oh-so-original), *insert obnoxious comment about burger flipping here*. There's nothing wrong with working at a fast food joint - it's just not where I hope my degree will take me, and it's not where I'm planning on working. "What are you going to do with an Arts degree?" and "what are you going to do with an ARTS degree?!?!" are not the same thing - I think you can probably tell the difference.

I'll tell you where my Arts degree is going to get me. It's going to get me into a career that I am happy with. It will (hopefully) get me into postgrad studies in the field that I am interested in. It will show future employees that I had the time, effort and dedication to work through a three year degree, all the while working several part time jobs, travelling, and everything else I have set my mind to. I see my degree as a way of getting me into postgraduate studies (although I could get work based on my Arts degree, especially with my majors as Communications and Political Science/ International Relations). A lot of jobs in the fields of work I'm interested in don't really care what you studied (just that you studied), just if you can do your job well.

The thing is, with a lot of undergraduate degrees, you need to do postgraduate studies to make full use of them. Undergraduate degrees such as physio and occupational therapy will allow you to work in that field, however studying human biology isn't going to make you a doctor, and studying pharmacology as a major of a science degree won't allow you to work in that field until you study it as a postgraduate degree. A lot of people, regardless of whether they are interested in science, arts, design, whatever, study broad undergraduate degrees prior to specifying postgrad.

I work hard for my degree. Yes, I have a low number of contact hours. However, for several of my units, I have a minimum allocation of 50 pages of reading a week, usually in complex language on difficult to comprehend political issues. I have 3000 word essays (and boy, they feel like 6000 words). I still have a lot to do - however, instead of readings and essays being structured into my contact hours - like labs, lectures and tutes - I need to discipline myself and make sure I do them when I'm not at uni. Arts degrees are different to other degrees because instead of learning and regurgitating facts and equations, there is a focus on expression (e.g. essays) and debating your point of view.

While sciences and maths aren't my strong point (nothing quite like that slap in the face after studying for hours for your Year 10 physics final and ending up with 49%), I have a passion for the written word, history, drama, politics, communications, and other artsy subjects. Why would I push myself to study subjects I dislike and that I'm not good at, instead of following my passion? Much as I would love to be drawn to medicine and make millions as a surgeon, it ain't going to happen, and I've accepted that.

There probably are some people who are doing an Arts degree because for them, it's easy. However, that's not everyone. There are probably some people studying Commerce because numbers come easy for them - they don't have to work hard at that. Does that make what they're doing the easy way out? Why don't they cop flak for studying numbers because they hate writing essays?

As for the specific criticism over majors - people study what they want because it interests them, or because of the career that it will get them into. For example, History of Art majors. This always seems to be the major that I hear copping a lot of flak. I have never done a unit associated with History or the History of Art, however I can imagine why people would be studying it. Firstly: it interests them, and they are coupling this major with a second major that relates to their chosen field of work. Secondly (and woah, this one is revolutionary): They want to work with art's history. What? Wow? No? Never!!

Why would I study Commerce when finance and numbers do not interest me? Why would I study Design when I can't draw and it's not something I find fun? (Little story - I drew a self portrait in Year 7 Art and took it home, super excited, to show mum. Her response? "Wow Laura, that's great! Who is it?") Why would I study Science when the longest I lasted in one science unit at my university was 2 hours? (It wasn't too hard, rocks just do not interest me).

So no, I don't mind if you have a joke with me about how I'm studying an Arts degree. You're right - I don't have many contact hours, and what I'm studying probably doesn't seem as hard to you as the wacky engineering stuff you spend your time on. It's okay if you tease me about only going to uni twice a week - I admire you making it in for every health science lecture and tute, really, you're much more dedicated them me!

Obviously Arts degrees aren't the only ones that cop it, and I think we should all be a little bit more encouraging of each other's studies. At the end of the day, us uni students are all in this together - juggling exams, coursework, classes, working, friends, eating, sleeping, trying to keep fit, and also remaining somewhat sane at the same time. Shouldn't we all support each other?

If you legitimately think that an Arts degree is the easy way out (and plan on shouting that from the rooftops instead of keeping it to yourself), two things: 1) Go and write a Political Science essay and let me know how you go. And 2) Make your own damn cheeseburger, because with the amount of work I put into my studies instead of putting everyone else down about their degrees, I won't be the one who ends up in a career that I don't want.

Be appreciative, be humble. Turn back the boats…or should we?

Before I start, I just wanted to quickly define the terms asylum seeker and refugee. Prior to writing this post, I wasn't entirely sure what the difference between the two was - hopefully this helps you if you have the same problem. Asylum seeker - someone seeking international protection but whose claim for refugee status has not yet been determined. Refugee - someone who has been recognised under the 1951 Convention relating to the status of refugees as a refugee - "owing to well-founded fear of being persecuted for reasons of race, religion, nationality, membership of a particular social group or political opinion, is outside the country of his nationality and is unable or, owing to such fear, is unwilling to avail himself of the protection of that country; or who, not having a nationality and being outside the country of his former habitual residence as a result of such events, is unable or, owing to such fear, is unwilling to return to it...". Source

Something that has been tossed around on the news a lot lately is about asylum seekers, and whether they should be allowed to arrive and/ or settle in Australia. I am honestly astounded that in a country as fortunate as ours, that I am proud to be part of, so many people are against this. Yes, I understand that not everyone who comes to Australia on a boat is a legitimate asylum seeker. I understand that there have been people in the past who have connections to terrorist organisations. But when you tell me we should not let LEGITIMATE refugees into Australia after they have arrived on a boat, I want you to answer a few questions for me.

What did you do to allow you to be born in a country as fortunate and prosperous as ours? How come you're allowed to receive government benefits if necessary, be able to walk outside without a fear of being shot, and have access to government funded education? How come you can choose what religion to practise, or not to practice religion at all? How come you weren't born in a country that you need to escape from? What makes you so special?

Once again, yes, I know that not everyone arriving on a boat is a legitimate asylum seeker. I also know that there are other ways of looking for a safe country to live in. I also understand that by allowing people to settle into our country this way, we are encouraging more people to risk their lives in travelling to Australia. However, although Tony Abbott's measures have stemmed the flow of boats, there are still boats arriving in Australia. Imagine if risking your life by floating on the back of a vessel that can be hardly be called a boat was preferable to staying in your own country?

People toss around that asylum seekers shouldn't be allowed to travel to our country because it's illegal. Actually, it is legal. I have heard of "the right of asylum" before however I never had properly looked into it before. Today, I did. It's an "ancient juridical concept", under which a person prosecuted in their home country may be protected by another foreign country. Therefore, people who are traveling to Australia "illegally" on boats, due to fears of racial or religious prosecution in their home country, are actually within their rights to do so (once again, I know people can seek asylum in alternative ways).

When people speak about how we shouldn't do something, e.g. travel or wear a certain brand because people who are less fortunate than us cannot, I don't believe this is correct. We have been given a fantastic opportunity in life, whether that is to afford education, travel, shopping or having a car, and I think we should take advantage of the opportunities that are offered to us and enjoy them. We have worked hard to be able to afford these things, as so I think we should embrace them and appreciate them. Feeling bad about situations in other countries will only make you upset - it's not going to change anything. Instead, I want to embrace my opportunities for me, but also use them to help other people.

However, we have been born into a country where you are rewarded if you work hard. I understand that Australia isn't perfect - we have homeless people, we have our own issues, however in comparison to so many other countries in the world, we are so lucky. We have been born into a country where education at a high school level is a right, and where higher education loans are low interest and simple to obtain. I am fortunate that, as a girl, I was born into a country where education is a real possibility and opportunity for me; where me receiving an education and going to university is encouraged on the same level as for my male counterparts. We have been put into a position that has allowed us to be rewarded for our hard work, and therefore, be able to afford things like those mentioned above, as well as being able to live a life free from punishment due to our races or religions. 

On a side note, the fact that the Australian government is considering sending refugees to Cambodia makes me feel a little sick. After spending time there during the summer, I came to realise how although it is a beautiful country, it is also very impoverished, and the government is not completely honest with its people. The only people who will be benefiting from asylum seekers originally heading to Australia being sent to Cambodia instead are those in power in Cambodia. It is such a vulnerable nation that is still recovering from its own civil war, and their people should be the first priority. On the other hand, refugees being sent to Cambodia may find themselves in a similar, if not worse, living situation than what they had to deal with in their own country.  

We don't realise how lucky we are in Australia.

Have a little bit of empathy for people who aren't as fortunate as you are. There is nothing but chance allowing you to live the life that you lead - nothing but chance putting you into a position where hard work is rewarded (and unfortunately, not so hard work is also rewarded). So yes, work hard, and appreciate your earnings - but remember, you are only getting what you receive because of a little stroke of luck. I'm not proposing that we allow everyone in the whole world to live in Australia purely because they arrived here by boat. Please, don't take what I'm saying and make me sound ridiculous and extreme. I'm proposing that we find a little bit of empathy, and be a little bit more understanding of other people's situations throughout the world, because it was only luck that allows us to live the lives we lead - considering almost half the world's population lives on less than $2.50 a day, I feel super fortunate to be in my position. Be appreciative, but also be humble. Turn back the boats...or should we?

Laura Goes to the Football

I recently ventured out to go to the football, an activity I don't usually partake in. I'm referring to football as in Australian Rules Football, footy, AFL, all of that. I'm not really a huge footy fan, but my sister wasn't going so that left a free seat for me to go with my family. It was quite a nice day out - mum packed a thermos filled with tea, it was sunny but very cold, the team we were barracking for won, and I enjoyed a baked potato. As I am not really a huge fan or at all experienced in AFL (aside from a brief foray into Auskick when I was 6), please forgive me for my lack of knowledge about the rules of AFL (and most sports).

While I had a really nice afternoon, some of the bad sportsmanship I saw there really shocked me. I have gone to games before, and I was even a member of the Fremantle Dockers for a year, however since I've been writing more, I've tended to have a bit of a blogger mindset and whenever I see something interesting, a little part of my brain goes "mmm, good material for a post". Don't get me wrong, I actually really enjoy going to the football. I think it's a great day out, it's fun to spend time with my family and a good, healthy dose of cheering never hurt anyone. 

So, let's start with the bad news. Some people are pretty disgusting when it comes to sport. I witnessed drunkness, swearing with complete disregard for the children who were seated in our area, abuse at the umpires, booing, and god, I really could go on.

So, for umpires. Yes, I understand that bad calls are made sometimes - but don't we all make mistakes? Umpires are out there doing their best. As a player (for netball, at least), complete respect is demanded and received by umpires - one wrong move in language towards an umpire - not necessarily swearing, just sarcasm and rudeness, and you're saddled with a warning: take it too much further, and you're off for the game. So why can't the crowd offer a similar level of respect? The insults I was hearing were so completely unoriginal as well - if you're going to be rude, at least be a little more creative than "**** ****ing ****s". I can understand a little bit of heckling if a wrong call is made - we're only human after all - however the language that some people used was horrendous. 

There were two occasions in the game when the crowd's reactions to what an umpire was doing surprised me. First was when an umpire called for a review of a goal, to see if it was touched (or something like that) before it went over the line. Second was when an umpire took back the ball after a centre bounce (once again, really sorry for my lack of knowledge about football terms) to redo it, as he wasn't satisfied with the first one. Both times the crowd was jeering and insulting the umpires. Both times the umpires were making sure they were making the correct call or fixing a past error. So basically, if the umpire makes a call that the crowd deems incorrect, they are jeered at. If they try to fix something or make sure they are doing the right thing, they are also insulted. To be honest, it seemed as though the majority of spectators would only be satisfied if the umpire took the ball off the opposing team, gave it to the home side, and let them score goal after goal.

That brings me onto booing. Bad sportsmanship doesn't get much worse than this, does it? Booing is so average, so stupid, and I sort of fail to see the point. Wouldn't you rather your team win because they had superior skill, rather than because the crowd was booing the other team to such an extent that they were distracted when trying to kick a goal? Maybe I'm completely missing the point here, but if my team won after an honest game, I think I would be much more satisfied than if dishonesty was occurring in terms of umpiring and booing. 

Players understand that umpires make bad calls, but that they are trying their best. In netball, the majority of times an umpire made a call against me, I thought "yep, fair call, I was too close/ bumped into my player/ took an extra step". If I didn't think that, I shut my mouth, kept playing, and tried to win the ball back for my side. That's what the AFL players do as well. They know the rules inside out (more than the majority of spectators can say - honestly, I have no clue with football, but some of the people sitting around me who were bagging the umpires seemed to have less of an idea than me) and so they cop free kicks against them on the chin, and play on. 

At the end of the day, the majority of sports are basically advanced games of fetch (sorry, but it's true), and I really think people need to stop taking them to the point of what I mentioned above. I'm not saying that sport is important - I personally love to play sport (even though my hand eye/ foot eye coordination is poor at best) and I think that playing a sport is really fun. It's fine to take it seriously, it's fine to cheer for your team, it's fine to get frustrated with umpires (hey, it happens), but the extent of bad sportsmanship from the crowd (bad crowdsmanship?) I witnessed really, really appalled me. It's meant to be a fun day out to go to the football, however people are so disgusting sometimes that it turned into me sitting there thinking about how odd some people really are. I can imagine it's quite uncomfortable for parents who bring their children along, only to have them asking "mum, what does that word that the lady keeps saying mean?"

As for the good news? When one of the players from the opposing team had a bad fall (I think he ended up tearing his ACL) and was taken off from the ground in a stretcher, everyone in the crowd applauded him as he was taken off. I'm 99.9% sure it was a move of sympathy and respect. People were hugging after the game and the little boy in front of me was smiling a huge grin, and there was a general good mood because the home team had won. Mum brought along some chocolate (bonus) and the whole crowd was belting the Dockers' team song. It's lovely how the people around us get on so well as well - people are asking how each others' kids and grandkids are, talking about their week, asking about holidays coming up - it is definitely a little community, and I think that that is really nice. The crowd cheering the victorious State Under 18s Girls Team as they ran around the ground before the game too was pretty cool - that would have been such a buzz.

However, I think the ultimate highlight for me was watching the little kids play at half time. With jerseys down to their knees, kids chatting to their opponents and parents cheering from the side, the kids were having a great time. And with everyone in the crowd watching, cheering and laughing as well, it was taken much less seriously than the real game, everyone was much happier, and above all, all the spectators were having fun.

And at the end of the day, isn't fun why we play and watch sport in the first place?

Philosophical Ramblings (well, sort of) [Part 1] "Some infinities are bigger than other infinities"

I write a lot of blog posts, however it is only a few that make it to being published on the Internet, for eyes other than my own to read (and hopefully enjoy). These posts tend to be the ones that I feel the most strongly about; ones that I have sat down and written pretty much start to finish, with minimal editing before I hit the little "publish" button and invite others into what can be quite a vulnerable part of my mind. I'm going to try my best to do that with this post - to write something quickly but coherent (and hopefully at least slightly concise) - my thoughts after seeing The Fault in our Stars. "My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations" and while I don't necessarily feel that my thoughts are stars, I hope you excuse my incoherent ramblings on a movie that made me think.

As I was sitting there, nestled between two friends in a movie theatre (all three of us crying, and me sharing my tissue box because they weren't prepared), I started forming this post in my mind. A lot of what I thought and constructed in my head I can no longer remember, however hopefully as I write the ideas will come back to me.

We live in a world that is full of contraries - light and dark, life and death, good and bad. This idea is not new. However, it became apparent to me as we sat in dimmed light, just how ugly and cruel the world actually is. We live lives where disease tears families apart, and a lot of the time, there is nothing that can be done about it. The world is so ugly, it really is.

The thing is though, and what makes me struggle with life sometimes, is that the world is also so beautiful. I've made such an effort lately to think this every morning (occasionally illustrated through a wide eyed, grinning SnapChat), because when I think this, I see the beauty in the world that I would otherwise ignore should I be stuck in a typical mindset of a teenager on a Tuesday morning who has to get up at 7 to go to work. The world is beautiful because there is laughter; the world is beautiful because there is chocolate and hugs and ballet and puppies. There are people with beautiful hearts and beautiful souls.

I think we sometimes miss the beauty of the world when we are locked up in our every day lives - we miss it because it is what we are used to. The sunset is beautiful, yes, but when we see it everyday on the walk we have to take the dogs on, we don't appreciate it anymore. Sometimes, it's the people who are living less beautiful and fortunate lives who understand and appreciate beauty more - even if it isn't what we'd usually lend the term "beauty" to.

I don't think I have ever seen so many smiles and so much happiness over a two week period than what I saw when I was teaching in Cambodia. Khmer people live a life with opportunities that pale in comparison to what we experience in the Western world - disease and sickness lurk around every corner, the government is corrupt and it's a struggle for kids to eat enough food so that they grow. However, they seemed so much happier with that they had than we seem with what we have, even though we are so much luckier. Everyone has their own tragedies - it's hard to say that someone is luckier than someone else, because our lives and the pains that we experience are relative to everything else we have experienced in our lives. However, if Khmer kids are happy with a new set of volunteers arriving from countries that they have dreamt of, I want to be happy with a sunset.

It's probably the same for a cancer ward - yes, there is heartbreak, and extreme amounts of it. It's awful and it's sad, and I'm not underestimating this in any way. I cannot imagine anything worse than seeing a loved one sick, and in pain. However, there is also love, light, and happiness - moments that would normally be considered average and normal, such as an 8 year out getting old of bed and going to school for the first time in two weeks - are celebrated and bring so much joy to her parents, her siblings, her nurses, her teachers.

We die. That's a fact. I'm going to die, you're going to die. However in this limited amount of time we have on Earth, I want to make the most of it. I don't want to get to the end of my life and think, as I sit in purgatory or whatever there is after death, "Damn. I really wish I had done more of that". We don't really know how much time we have left living and that scares me enough into squeezing every inch out of my life when I can. Unfortunately, we don't get a sand timer that counts down our moments left living - we have to take a gamble and hope that if we died tomorrow, we'd be happy with the life that we led.

I used to often catch myself in the dangerous mind game of "why am I doing this? I'll die anyway, and no one will remember or care in 50 years". And yeah, I will. So will you (sorry to keep reminding you of that, I know some people try not to think about it). It's discouraging to think this, even though it's true. It's dangerous because you can get so used to existing because "what's the point?" that you stop living. So why would I not live my life with happiness and live it to the max? It's not going to make me live a shorter amount of time (depending on my choices), and it's going to make my life much richer.

As some of you know, I screwed up my back a little while ago, to the point that a lot of what I used to love to do I can now no longer do, or enjoy to the same extent that I used to. This does upset me quite a lot, especially on days when I'm in a lot of pain, or when something is happening that I can't go to. However, I've realised that there is no point in me sitting around whining about how I can't dance right now, about how I can't go out clubbing, because my complaints aren't going to give me more days to live after I sort out whatever is wrong - they're only wasting the days that I have.

Try to be positive, try to be on a "roller coaster than only goes up, my friend" (if you need to do that with a wide eyed SnapChat, that's okay too). Find someone who can give you "forever within the numbered days", because at the end of the day, it's not about quantity - it's about quality. Go out there, realise the cruelty of the world, appreciate the beauty of it, and understand that those two things are not mutually exclusive. Live your life to the max, because you never know when it will end.

Okay?

Okay.

Music Snobbery - a lighthearted jab at the music snobs of the world

I have been told several times, while I have had my phone plugged into my car and I'm blasting my beats, that my music taste sucks. And this bothers me.

CONFESSION TIME: I listen to One Direction. I went through a One Direction crush phase. I went to the One Direction concert. I have lots of their songs. I also love Taylor Swift (seen her live, such a fan). I was a huge Jonas Brothers fan back in the day. Musicals take up a LOT of space in my iTunes library. ED SHEERAN MAKES ME HAPPY. AND I AM NOT ASHAMED!

Music snobbery is the worst kind of snobbery. I am so sick of being told my music taste is "crap", "bad", "lame", "boring". No. My music taste is just not your music taste. That doesn't make it any worse, it just makes it different.

Why do people listen to music in the first place? I listen to music because I like the emotions that certain songs and sounds evoke. I like how I can feel happy when I listen to "Love Story" by Taylor Swift, nostalgic when I hear "Home" by Michael Buble, and how I feel like dancing when I hear "No Light" by Florence and the Machine. I listen to the music I listen to because I enjoy it, and because it makes me happy.

That's why I'm so over music snobbery. You listen to music that no one else has heard of? Good for you. You listen to heavy metal? Not my cup of tea, but I'm glad you enjoy it. You listen to music that has no lyrics, only sounds? I'm happy for you. You embrace what you like, and I'll embrace what I like. If you're interested in what I've been listening to as of late, you can read some of my current favourites here, here and here.

I would prefer to be told that someone doesn't like my music, rather than they think I listen to crap music. You might not like what I listen to, however I do and that's why it's allowed to take up space in my iTunes library. It's not about me having amazing taste, or you having a superior taste - it's about us having different tastes, and that's what makes the world interesting.

One of my friends is really into Christian music - good for her! She likes it (and not going to lie, some of those tunes are kind of catchy). Another one is into Arctic Monkeys and Temper Trap - but that's never stopped her from having a little singalong to Taylor Swift.

I read a quote awhile ago and it really stuck with me. "You can decide what you do, but you cannot decide what you like". And that is so true. I can decide to listen to all of the Triple J in the world, but that's not going to make me as happy as plugging in my music and listening to the likes of Ed Sheeran, The Seals, Demi Lovato, or Taylor Swift. I can't suddenly make myself love music that I previously haven't enjoyed before. There's nothing I can do about that… but there's nothing I want to either.

If you criticise my music choice because "it sucks", "it's bad", "you have no taste", you have about a 0% chance of changing my opinion about anything you listen to. I'm willing to listen to music outside my genre - a trip to a folk festival opened my eyes (ears?) up to several artists that are now in my Top 25 playlist, and listening to recommendations from friends has also given me a lot of songs that I really like. I like finding new artists and songs that I enjoy - I might not enjoy everything that is recommended to me, but hey, I'll try my best!

However, you having a go at what I listen to isn't going to make me any more receptive to your music. To the music snobs reading this - have you ever criticised someone's choice, then given them your iPod full of "superior" music choices, and had them look at you, with enlightened eyes, and heard them whisper - "this is the way"? I doubt it.

So next time you're looking at someone's music, don't brush it off with a "your music taste sucks" or a "what is this crap?" (actual quotes from people who have flicked through my music - yes, it is filled with a lot of pop. No, I am not ashamed!). Instead, share a mild "this isn't my stuff", or better yet - have a listen, and maybe, like I have been before, you'll be surprised.

And by the way, whoever is driving ALWAYS has shotgun over the sound. Otherwise, you can take the bus - and listen to your "superior" music through your headphones. ;)