I find the use of the word "rape" in any conversation where you're not actually speaking about rape absolutely deplorable, however especially in the context of someone finding someone "rapeable". What, you think they're hot, so that makes it excusable for you to forcefully have sex with them? Wow. You're so cool. What a drop kick.
Using this word in such an every day context trivialises the idea of rape. Don't tell me you're having a laugh. Don't tell me I'm being sensitive. Don't tell me to get a sense of humour. People who are making rape jokes have never been raped, they don't worry about being raped, they probably don't know an who has been raped, and they're actually legitimising the actions of rapists or potential rapists by making their actions seem more socially acceptable, as well as reminding victims of sexual assault and rape of what may have occurred.
While rape does not only affect women, it is something that primarily affects women, and we don't find the use of the term funny at all. Rape jokes? Not even slightly humorous. I'd rather a good old "knock knock" joke. I don't find rape jokes funny because the threat of sexual assault or rape is something that legitimately frightens me; something that sees me not going for walks by myself when it's dark, makes me careful about taking public transport by myself, causes me to not even consider taking a taxi alone, and causes me to freeze if I hear a noise when I'm home by myself at night. And while being alone may freak me out a little bit, I know that I'm not alone when it comes to hatred of rape jokes and of the term "rape" being used so casually.
I read on Tumblr (hem, again) a story about a classroom in America, when a student was talking about someone else's sexual assault, and another student said something along the lines of "she should have been in the kitchen, then it wouldn't have happened!" We do not need to culture this ignorance, this stupidity, this victim shaming. "Just a joke!"? It's not funny, and it can't go on.
An example of the idea of "rape" being thrown around? Robin Thicke. Don't even get me started (well, I've started). As catchy as the song "Blurred Lines" is, it's pretty disgusting when you listen to the lyrics. "I know you want it". No, you think she wants it. But hey, because she said no, what you think she does or doesn't want is out of the equation. Back off. The song actually got banned from some student pubs in England - this move was accused of being too politically correct. I personally don't see what is wrong with banning something that is essentially rape propaganda.
Get a little bit more creative with your language. "Wow, that team was much better than us at football. We got a bit destroyed". "Wow, that girl is very pretty". "I just got owned by my maths exam". "Goodness gracious golly gosh I wrote like a bumbling baboon in my English exam".
Nothing I love more than calling people out for being racist/ sexist and seeing them squirm awkwardly (I sound awful. Ah well, better they learn now). I mean, chances are, if someone says "I got raped by my maths exam" and you ask them to explain, they'll be sitting there opening and closing their mouth like a goldfish, realising that no, they weren't raped by their maths exam. They struggled a bit to answer everything, they wish that they had studied harder, and the exam was more difficult than they expected. They were not raped in anyway way, shape, or form, by that maths exam.
"You know that that's not what I meant". Yeah, I do. I don't know why you used that word though. There's nothing wrong with a bit of exaggeration, however using the word "rape" isn't exaggeration - it's just stupid. There's a difference between something taking away your choices, something removing all control from you, something done to create fear and something as life changing as rape, and exaggerating about something a little.
I'm sick of terms like "rape" being thrown around in every day language. It's not okay. Rape and sexual assault in general are not funny - the sheer thought of them is terrifying, they're life altering, soul crushing, and not even remotely humorous.
Next time you try to be a bit cute and use "rape" as a term to describe something you find difficult, take it back. It's not rape. You know that. Next time you describe someone as "rapeable", take a step back and really think about what you're saying. You're surely not thinking that the way they look excuses something as awful as rape, are you? No? I didn't think so. So why do you feel the need to say that? And if you think it does excuse it? You really need to take a look at yourself, and quite possibly talk to someone.
To give us all a bit of credit - the vast majority of people understand that rape and sexual assault is so, incredibly wrong. That's why we all need to stop casually using the word "rape" in every day language - it's not what we mean. And as for Robin Thicke? People are slowly starting to wake up to the fact that his lyrics and attitudes are not even remotely okay - #AskThicke on Twitter was a PR nightmare - here are some gems below.
Rape is NEVER funny. Use your words, get more original with your vocabulary, and stop using the word "rape" where it doesn't belong. We're all smarter than that. It's not cute, it's not funny, no one has any idea what you're talking about, and yes, when you talk about being "raped" by an exam, you do sound like a bumbling baboon.
Part of the #YesAllWomen movement.
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