A good friend of mine contacted me about writing this article, and I am honoured to be able to. Someone who she knew was murdered in Melbourne a few weeks ago. Someone she was at college with went out one Friday night. He was 21 years old, a third year student at the University of Melbourne. He did what a lot of young people do - celebrated the end of the week out with some mates.
The only difference is that Josh Hardy didn't come home.
Shortly after 1am on that Saturday morning, Josh was attacked outside a McDonald's restaurant. This attack rendered him unconscious, before he passed away in the early hours of Saturday. While these devastating deaths often occur after a "coward's punch" (formally known as a king hit), Josh was brutally stomped on.
Josh had a mother, a father, a sister. He had a future, he had goals. And now that has all been taken away from him. It is so unfair that someone who meant so much to so many people could be taken away so quickly in an act of violence initiated by someone he didn't even know.
While there has been legislation put in place with mandatory sentencing laws, I don't think this is where the change needs to start. When these men are pulling their fist back, they aren't thinking about the 10 years that they are getting for a coward's punch. They're not thinking about the lives that they are ruining - including their own. They're thinking that this is the fastest, easiest and best way of solving the problem - and this is what needs to change.
While there has been legislation put in place with mandatory sentencing laws, I don't think this is where the change needs to start. When these men are pulling their fist back, they aren't thinking about the 10 years that they are getting for a coward's punch. They're not thinking about the lives that they are ruining - including their own. They're thinking that this is the fastest, easiest and best way of solving the problem - and this is what needs to change.
In Australia, we have such a culture of being a "bloke"; being a man, being strong, being masculine. It's cool to be rough, it's cool to be tough, it's cool to stand up for yourself and it's cool to get into a fight. But anyone who is reading this, I implore you to understand just this: you are no less strong or masculine if you walk away from a fight. You are no less of a man if you choose not to engage in this sort of behaviour. There is nothing wrong with walking away from a fight.
While women are also involved in random incidents of violence such as this (glassing incidents come to mind), I think it would be ignorant of me to say that this is a problem that both genders are faced by equally. Although I do write a lot about how gender inequality has negatively impacted my life, and the lives of females throughout the world, I also want to write about how gender inequality negatively impacts males. Men are taught to be strong and powerful; they are taught that they need to protect their pride; and they are taught that a lot of this power comes from their physical strength. Maybe all of these things are true and important, maybe they're not. What is true, though, is that this can't be all men value themselves for. We need our young men to understand that they are valued for their thoughts, their feelings, and just being them. We don't value them for their physicality, and we definitely don't want the things we love about a person being taken away in a split second because of theirs, or someone else's, split second decision.
The man who was responsible for this attack handed himself into police the morning after the incident after he heard reports about what had happened. This is not a man who is trying to run away from the law. This is a man who was also having a night out on the town - something that ended with devastating consequences. There is no doubt in my mind that this man is the party who is at fault for this - this is the man who made the decision that killed someone. However it was a split second decision, and this is why our culture needs to change.
While women are also involved in random incidents of violence such as this (glassing incidents come to mind), I think it would be ignorant of me to say that this is a problem that both genders are faced by equally. Although I do write a lot about how gender inequality has negatively impacted my life, and the lives of females throughout the world, I also want to write about how gender inequality negatively impacts males. Men are taught to be strong and powerful; they are taught that they need to protect their pride; and they are taught that a lot of this power comes from their physical strength. Maybe all of these things are true and important, maybe they're not. What is true, though, is that this can't be all men value themselves for. We need our young men to understand that they are valued for their thoughts, their feelings, and just being them. We don't value them for their physicality, and we definitely don't want the things we love about a person being taken away in a split second because of theirs, or someone else's, split second decision.
The man who was responsible for this attack handed himself into police the morning after the incident after he heard reports about what had happened. This is not a man who is trying to run away from the law. This is a man who was also having a night out on the town - something that ended with devastating consequences. There is no doubt in my mind that this man is the party who is at fault for this - this is the man who made the decision that killed someone. However it was a split second decision, and this is why our culture needs to change.
I'm writing this, not only to the men who may be victims, but to those who may be perpetrators as well. These men were innocent until the cowardly punched someone else - an act of drunken violence that, while it doesn't excuse their actions at all, was a split second decision that has now changed their lives forever. These men are also someone's brother, son, boyfriend, friend. I completely support mandatory sentencing for coward's punch attacks, however I think the actual culture of nightlife and of young men in Australia needs to be changed.
I don't want there to be a reason to put these young men away. I don't want there to be a reason that we are honouring another young man who was just trying to have a good night out with his friends.
Let it go. If someone knocks into you, spills your drink, whatever, just walk away. I promise you that it's not worth getting involved - it was probably an accident, and if it wasn't, you don't want to get involved with them anyway. If you are the one who bumps into someone or knocks their drink accidentally, apologise if you feel the situation warrants it. Sure, it was a complete accident, but sometimes being safe is more important than being right.
You tell me what is more cowardly: walking away from an altercation, or throwing a punch at someone who had their back turned?
So, while the man who was responsible for this is in my thoughts because of a split second decision that he made while he was probably drunk, the fact remains that he did the wrong thing. He took away the life of a young man who was successful, a good friend, a devoted family member and part of his community. He made a split second decision that has ricocheted out of control, hitting more people than they probably ever knew was possible. He made a choice.
Josh didn't.
Next time you go out, I want you to make a choice. Make a choice to be a man (or woman) about it, and say no to these acts of violence that are destroying people's lives.
